Seeing I’m off work today not feeling great, I thought I use the time to write my second posting on our first year of marriage. I’ve been thinking it would be good to talk about some of the challenges we have had as I wouldn’t want anyone to think after that first post that we had the perfect marriage!

One of the things which we’ve both said has been harder to establish than we thought has actually been spending quality time with God together. We’re both been quite good at making time for personal prayer, reading, Bible study etc individually, but it has been much more of a challenge as a couple. We do pray together for a bit most days, but this definitely feels like an area with much room for improvement. I guess when you spend your whole life relating to God individually, it becomes something that you really have to learn to do with someone else.

I was thinking just this week how one of the areas where me and Rachel are very different is with regard to resting. For me, reading is a great way that I relax and then also perhaps watching a movie. (I’ve been quite addicted to 24 lately too!) But for Rachel, she tends to unwind the best just watching random TV programs. Which is fine…apart from she likes to be watching it together (whilst I might prefer to be reading!). I guess it all comes down to give and take. Knowing when I should put my book down and watch some TV with her, and then Rach also leaving me to just read sometimes. And that’s the way it has been really…I’ve not really felt like this has been an area of friction – just part of learning to live with someone really.

I think the learning to live together has been a lot of fun by and large. There are obviously times of disagreement, but I think we both went into marriage seeing the learning to live with each other as a fun challenge. And I think that’s held us in good stead really. I definitely think the five weeks of marriage preparation we did before we got marriage was worth its weight in gold. I think it meant that a lot of potential conflict areas were brought up before we were living together. We talked about money, expectations, who would take the bin out(!) etc. That’s one thing that I’d recommend every couple do before getting married. It’s a big reason why we’ve had a very non stressful first year I believe.

Ok, enough for now. Might post some more reflections soon.

S.

PS The pics are from our honeymoon in South Africa.

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