Total Surrender
I have begun re-reading the book “Rees Howells: Intercessor” by Norman Grubb this week and have been challenged afresh by this man’s phenomenal commitment to God. There really was nothing that came before God in his life. Money and success became meaningless as he chose to surrender everything to serve God. His whole life really was ALL about God in a way that leaves me feeling like I have hardly begun in my own walk with God!
I think sometimes it is good to catch a glimpse of a fellow believer who’s walk is so far ahead of our own that it almost leaves us embarrassed. I don’t mean in the sense of shame or guilt but just the realisation that there is so much more that God has for us and wants from us. If I was to ask myself the question, “How surrendered to God am I?” I would probably answer something along the lines of “quite surrendered”. And yet didn’t Jesus give up everything for me? I know that in one sense it is no longer I who live but Jesus who lives in me, but in another sense, I know that I still have such a long way to go!
Perhaps a question that I need to ask myself is whether I do actually want to be totally surrendered to God. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life NEVER having my will being done but instead always His? That is so hard! Part of me knows that God’s will is best anyway, but another part of me is saying, “But…what about my dreams, what about my ambitions, what about my plans, what about what I want to do with my money.” Am I really ready to surrender everything to God and truly lay my life down and forever give up my rights?
It suddenly seems like this is some new form of radical Christianity and yet I am reminded that this what is meant to be normal for all Christians! When I said “yes” to Jesus’ Lordship I become His slave! And what “rights” do slaves have? None at all! To enter the kingdom of God is to enter the realm where only God’s will is done; there is no place for me to carry on living my own life.
Rees Howells, as he was going through this process of surrendering, reached the point where he felt he couldn’t surrender his own will. And that was the point where God spoke to him and asked him if he wanted Him to enable and help him to surrender his own will. Rees Howells reached the place where he said “yes” and I now, through the challenge of his story, find myself going to God and saying, “Help me also to surrender my whole life and will to you Lord.”
